what to say when something bad happens to a friend

When yous hear about a family fellow member or a friend having a rough day, it's hard to know what you lot tin can do to brighten up their mood, allow alone what to say.

Here's how yous can quickly turn their day around.

Tabular array of Contents

Free yourself from expectation prison
- Let become
- Live Now
- Win
Acknowledge that we've heard them and confirm that, yep, they've had a horrible day
Remind them that information technology will get ameliorate
Point out the positive in the situation, or in their life
Try to take their mind off of it past suggesting a diversion
Ask them what you lot tin exercise to help
Let them know they are not alone
Offering them an opportunity to confide in you
If the individual confides in you lot, information technology is disquisitional that they practice not feel judged
Say information technology with a gesture
Offer to go for a walk with them
Initially, just listen and don't say anything
When someone is having a bad day, the best thing to do is ask questions
Avoid sharing your stuff
Don't play 'hero'
Don't make assumptions
When someone is having a bad day, information technology's important to acknowledge the feeling they are having
Encourage them to talk nigh it with someone they trust
One of the all-time things you can do is help your friend to shift the patterns
- Arrive rapport
- Commencement to shift the focus of the chat
- Offer encouragement
- Create something humorous around this experience to help anchor in these happier moments
A bad 24-hour interval does not define itself as a bad life
Was your bad 24-hour interval pre-scripted?
Sometimes you simply need to lean into that bad day
You can start by letting them know that you're there for them
Empathise why you want to fix it then don't endeavor to fix it — just listen
When somebody is having a bad 24-hour interval, the best strategy is to openly ask if a person wants to talk well-nigh it
When I am working with someone who is having a bad 24-hour interval, I ever validate the feeling first
Support and being uplifting is important
It's not necessary to say anything at all

First and foremost, remember these cardinal points in life:

Each 24-hour interval we get 86,400 seconds to "spend," don't waste 10,000 of them domicile on what doesn't matter.
Have you had other bad days? Did any of them kill you? Right, just like before, you volition survive this day, things will amend, your life will go, and this will become a distant memory.
Process this moment, circumstance, or pain, then let it pass. Learn not to dwell in a temporary place.
Life tin can bring united states of america to some highly uncomfortable places, know that these tend to bring excellent opportunities for growth.
Follow the five-second rule: if it won't matter in five years, don't spend more than 5 seconds on it
Today will become like yesterday, and yesterday ended concluding night. Tomorrow volition bring a new opportunity to start fresh and effort once more.
Don't allow anyone or anything to occupy your heed-space, rent-free. If it does not serve y'all, let it go.
Remember that life, like this twenty-four hour period, does not last forever.
In life, no 1 gets out alive. Nosotros all have an expiration appointment; nosotros just don't know when it is.
If someone hurt you, don't have information technology personally. Call up that most of the time, people are not against you lot; they are for themselves.
Equally long as you take breath in your torso, you win. Don't quit; the opportunity still exists for things to get and be meliorate.
You're still here. Yous win by not quitting.
Exist your own Superhero!

Free yourself from expectation prison

Be leery of expectation prison house. Too frequently, we create expectations on things based on flawed thinking and our limited perspective. This can set us up for failure.

Acquire to allow become speedily when things don't turnout or unfold as we expected them.

At that place is no rule of law that says things are supposed to plow out as we expect them. Getting upset will not help that affair. Resisting will not change things and ordinarily only makes matters worse.

Instead, learn to comprehend whatsoever happens as if you cull for it to happen. Learn to permit yourself out of expectation prison house. To live free, in the present moment, ane moment at a time. To get with the catamenia as if on an chance.

Avoid the temptation to re-alive the past or pre-alive the hereafter – this is the trap that snares you lot.

Seek to see the good and make the most out of every state of affairs rather than focus on the negative. The worst you can get out of whatsoever experience in a lesson to exist learned that yous can apply to your life, to brand things better.

Related: How to Let Go of Expectations & Why It's Important

Secondly, as a powerful tool to apply proactively in the pursuit of a fulfilling and meaningful impact with your life, when facing paralyzing, overwhelming and crippling adversity and hurting, I use the following arroyo for wringing the good out of challenges and living life to the fullest! It's chosen: Allow get, Live at present and Win!

This approach helps put agin events into perspective. At all-time, they are temporal. It teaches united states of america to discard negative thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that don't serve us and begin anew, at any moment we choose. Challenges help you grow, builds graphic symbol, be more than grateful, and live an authentic life.

Let get

You lot demand to beginning by letting go of the things y'all do with no control. Be it the past, people or circumstances you lot cannot change. The fourth dimension and attempt you spend worrying over or beingness distracted the past, or things you can do absolutely nothing about, causes undue stress, a loss of energy and focus.

Related: What to Say to Someone Who Is Stressed

Live Now

By that, I mean you need to live in the present moment. Yesterday, ended last night. The combined wealth of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Jeff Bezos cannot buy 5 seconds of yesterday.

The future has not happened nevertheless. When it occurs, it happens in the present moment. So in reality, all you lot always accept in now, this very moment. You would exist wise to brand the most of it.

You need to cease trying to pre-alive (what may or may non happen in the future) or relive (what happened in the past) and alive now!

Win

Yous should gloat every win along the fashion. The large ones equally well equally the small-scale ones. Past acknowledging your victories, you encourage yourself and build momentum toward achieving your goals. By realizing your vision, y'all become the best version of yourself!

You can ever live your spirit when you begin to listing out the things you lot are thankful and grateful for past merely shifting your perspective to one of gratitude. This approach focuses on mental wellness and is more than of a mental 'piece of work-out' than a physical 1.

In my book, I've shared many stories and approaches on how to alive a full, more than peaceful life, even while dealing with challenges. A book which motivational speaker Les Brownish calls "instructive, informative, and inspiring … a guide to alive your life victoriously."

If searching for a tool to aid bargain with life's stress, my book is simply that – a guide and roadmap you can leverage based on your unique experience and at your own pace. I wrote it with the idea that readers can replace the challenges I've included with their own and be able to see themselves working through conflict, obstacles and difficulties and limiting negative cocky-talk, 1 pace, action, moment and battle at a time.

Charlene Walters, MBA, Ph.D.

Author and Speaker | Business & Branding Mentor, Own Your Other

We all take bad days from time to time. There is not a person who is immune to them. When someone we know is having a bad twenty-four hours, we should, first and foremost, just mind to them. Often, they merely want to vent and be heard. Subsequently they have explained almost their day, we tin can do the following things to try to assistance:

Acknowledge that we've heard them and ostend that, yes, they've had a horrible twenty-four hours

In this type of situation, people usually desire a bit of sympathy, or at least, validation of their unpleasant feel.

Remind them that it will become improve

Bad days are few and far between in the big scheme of things. Share a story of a similarly bad twenty-four hours that you've experienced and how it turned out for the all-time in the end.

Bespeak out the positive in the state of affairs, or in their life

It'southward piece of cake to wallow in the negative, but reminding them of the positive can help change their mindset and their focus. There is ever a silver lining and something expert happening in their lives.

Related: What are the Benefits of Positive Thinking?

Try to have their mind off of information technology by suggesting a diversion

A diversion can be used to lighten their mood or just changing the conversation to a more positive topic. Tell a joke, suggest a fun outing or share an interesting tidbit.

Ask them what you can do to help

Remind them that there are plenty of people that care nigh them in their life including y'all. Notice out if you lot can assist in making it better. Either way, you will lift them up by showing that you intendance and providing condolement on their bad solar day.

Becky Stuempfig, MA, LMFT

Licensed Spousal relationship & Family Therapist | Owner, Encinitas Therapy

Let them know they are not lonely

If the individual is a teenager or young adult, this is particularly important given the rising suicide rates in that population. The knowledge that even one person cares nearly you can make all the departure.

Sometimes a simple statement such equally "I've had days similar that too" can assistance normalize a bad mean solar day and decrease feelings of isolation.

Offering them an opportunity to confide in you

Saying something to the effect of, "I'm here for you lot if y'all would similar to chat" allows them to maintain control and choose to open up when they experience safe doing so. I recommend following upwardly a day or two afterward to inquire near their well-existence.

If the individual confides in you, it is disquisitional that they do not feel judged

But listening and showing compassion for their situation can exist extremely therapeutic. Unless someone asks for help finding a solution, information technology is usually wise to non try to solve their trouble.

Most people simply desire to feel heard and supported by their social network. Empowering them to find their own solutions is more benign than offering your ain solutions.

Questions such every bit "How are you thinking of handling this?" can support them in thinking through their next steps and increase feelings of control over their lives.

Say it with a gesture

Leaving someone a thoughtful card or flowers can get a long way in improving their solar day. It does non need to be anything elaborate, simply a note letting them know that yous intendance near them and hope their twenty-four hours improves.

This lets them know they are not alone and conveys promise for tomorrow; ii powerful letters for improving mental health.

Offering to go for a walk with them

Getting exterior and animate in the fresh air can exercise wonders for our mental health. One of the most efficient and immediate mental health interventions for improving mood is walking and talking. Even just twenty to thirty minutes outside with a friend can lift the fog of a bad day.

Initially, merely listen and don't say anything

When someone is having a bad twenty-four hour period, they often need to vent…to tell their story. Interrupting them with your advice may not be appropriate.

One time yous've heard nigh why they are having a bad day, you can determine how serious their situation is. Are they upset because they didn't get the raise they wanted, or, because their pet died? Each might become a different response from you.

If you are physically with them, in the first case yous might want to treat them to lunch or a movie. In the latter example, you might desire to embrace and comfort them in their loss past acknowledging how wonderful their pet was and to encourage them to talk about all the adept times they had together.

And if y'all are not physically with them, a manus-written card or letter (not an email), or a phone call is in club just to let them know you are at that place for them.

Julieanne O'Connor

Writer | Actress | TEDx Speaker | Certified Corporate Trainer | Career Coach, Spelling It Out

When someone is having a bad day, the best thing to do is enquire questions

People operate with sometimes very unlike values. Some of us are all about attention and expression, while others are focused on privacy and predictability. Some people may turn to learning and cocky-mastery when they are having a bad day, while still others may actually demand community with or without divulging what'due south happening in their lives.

That'south not to say that people don't want to hear y'all say something simple, such every bit, "Is there anything I tin can do for y'all today?" or "Tin can I get you something?" But the moment someone says something similar, "Cheer upwards!" or "Expect on the bright side," you lot might be surprised at how it strikes an unexpected nerve based on the fact that the person feels as though someone can't relate to what they are experiencing.

Since you just never know what'due south happening with someone who is having a bad day, I advise simple gestures of either a question or an offering equally a showtime resort.

If in fact, yous know someone well, and/or you lot know the bodily issue causing a person'south bad day, my hope is that you might be able to draw on intuition to say just the correct thing to help get in better.

Bad days happen. And that'due south okay! When someone else is having a bad day, whether a coworker, significant other, or friend, it is natural for us to want to assist. All the same, proficient-intentioned attempts could make things worse. If we aren't conscientious, we could end upwards making them experience guilty for their feelings or overwhelmed.

Avoid sharing your stuff

It is human nature to try to chronicle. Nosotros do this by sharing our own similar situations or mood. However, this could non simply overwhelm the other person only it could also make them feel like you are downplaying their situation. When someone shares about their bad day, refrain from telling them what has gone wrong for you lot today.

Try This: Remind them that they are not alone. Share that your door is open if they need to talk things out or vent.

Related: How to Stop Yourself from Talking Besides Much

Don't play 'hero'

Especially for those of us who are trouble solvers, we desire to jump in and save the day past offer solutions. Yet, when someone is having a bad twenty-four hour period, offer solutions can add together to the overwhelm past making them feel like they at present have more things to do.

Try this: Take the time to mind to them. When yous feel the urge to offer a solution, instead shift to request about their feelings.

Don't make assumptions

Weare all unlike- and so are our bad days and how nosotros handle them. Don't assume that what cheers you upward will work for the other person. When I'thou having a bad mean solar day, my favorite smoothie or a walk with my dogs unremarkably does the pull a fast one on. That's not a 1-size-fits-all solution!

Try this: Inquire the other person what y'all can practise to cheer them up. Do they desire to vent? Do they want you lot to send them funny gifs?

When someone is having a bad 24-hour interval, information technology's important to acknowledge the feeling they are having

Offset, mention that they don't seem like themself. And so, listen. And listen some more than as you pay attention to what they tell you. It'south helpful to repeat what they said then they know you heard what they said. This validates them and they know yous really heard them.

Acknowledge their feelings by saying, "I'm sorry things experience hard right at present," or "That must feel scary or whatever emotion they shared."

Encourage them to talk near information technology with someone they trust

If yous have established trust with them, it may assistance them if you affirm you lot desire to aid them. "I'm here for y'all," or "I'll listen if you want to talk," gives them permission to name the reason they are having a bad day. The person may not desire advice, so don't offering it unless they ask for it. Questions can help them sort things out equally they talk. Some examples are:

"Has this happened to you in the past?"
"Did anything assist you lot handle it so?"
"Is there something I can exercise to assistance you?"

If each answer is negative, follow up with, "I'm here for you," or "I'm here to heed if you want to talk well-nigh it." Sometimes, people simply need someone to care about them and listen without trying to set up their emotions.

Jeremy Roadruck

Best-selling author | Parenting Expert | Certified in NeuroLinguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy | Author, Your Best Child Ever

If friends are in trouble, don't badger them by asking if there is anything you can practise. Think up something appropriate and do it.

We all have had bad days. And, when we're feeling bad, we often run a series of physical, mental, and emotional patterns and talk to ourselves
in a particular way. Same for our friends, too.

One of the all-time things you can practice is assistance your friend to shift the patterns

It's like baking a block with all common salt, no sugar. If nosotros can interrupt their patterns for having a bad day – they can start to have an okay twenty-four hour period or a
expert mean solar day!

Become in rapport

Outset to talk most the same speed equally your friend, breathe about the same speed, stand about the same style. After about thirty seconds to a infinitesimal, kickoff to shift your torso – stand a bit taller, start to talk a scrap faster, etc.

Start to shift the focus of the conversation

Permit your friend vent for a flake, and then first to ask questions that could shift the meaning of whatever they are saying. For example:

Them: "I'grand just having the worst mean solar day ever. Showtime, I woke up late, and then my coffee maker died. I got stuck in traffic, and and then I dropped my
report in the rain! I hate my life!"

You: "OMGoodness, that is just the worst. I hate when it feels like my life is just spiraling out of my command. But then I think, isn't it
peachy that I can focus on what I want? Have you always noticed how quickly and easily it's possible to shift into a positive emotion? Particularly,
when you… accept you ever… what'due south your favorite song?"

Offer encouragement

When you detect your friend standing a lilliputian taller, animate a footling easier, identify your hand on a shoulder or forearm and offer some encouragement. Hold eye contact for a moment, help your friend to feel heard, and acknowledged.

Create something humorous effectually this feel to help ballast in these happier moments

My wife and I once watched a video clip about a man and a woman on a couch, and the woman is upset about something. She also happens to take a nail in the middle of her forehead. My wife and I both use "It'due south non most the blast" when the other is frustrated and just wants validation and encouragement.

A bad day does not define itself as a bad life

Everyone has peaks and valleys within the scope of their week. No matter how bad the solar day, challenge yourself to pull out the wins. Then reflect on them for momentum into a better moment.

Ask yourself the following: What was okay in your bad day? What did you learn? Does this support you lot in knowing more about what you don't want and then you can become after what you practice want?

Was your bad solar day pre-scripted?

In other words, did y'all presume that something would not piece of work out and so that supposition came true? Next time you observe yourself having negative thoughts most the success of something reverse engineer the outcome. Instead of anticipating the worst, envision the best.

How does that make you experience? What happens next if this works out? To protect ourselves from getting hurt we oft assume or anticipate the neglect instead of the win. Past reversing this to run into the success starting time, we modify perspectives on the situation and the day as a whole.

Sometimes you lot just need to lean into that bad day

Use it as a pause. Take fourth dimension to reflect and get in. Practise something prissy for yourself. Let information technology run its a class like a 24-hour influenza bug! First the next day from a "feeling better" perspective!

Adina Mahalli

Mental Health Consultant, Enlightened Reality | Human relationship Expert, Maple Holistics

When someone is having a bad day, one of your kickoff responses should be a reminder to yourself that some people are simply having a bad solar day. It sounds obvious, but don't permit their negative energy seep into your day. Make sure that you're able to separate yourself from their issues before giving any well-meaning advice.

Y'all can start by letting them know that you lot're in that location for them

Nearly of the fourth dimension when people are having a 1-off bad day, rather than an ongoing issue, it can aid simply to take someone to vent to and validate your frustrations. They're not looking for solutions (unless they specifically ask for them) which means that now is the time to continue your opinions to yourself and just ask if in that location's something you tin can do to make their day a little better.

The bottom line is that it's less about what you say and more about how you listen.

The temptation is to endeavor and set up it. Maybe yous don't want to see someone you dearest in pain. Perhaps you always want to set things for people and you want to get this one "off your plate" so it'south not an issue anymore.

Understand why you want to fix it and so don't try to gear up it — just listen

Listen and acknowledge what y'all're hearing, by nodding, by repeating what you're hearing to exist sure y'all're understanding, and by asking clarifying questions. Many times, being heard past someone feels a lot better than being "fixed." If you're listening advisedly, and so when they enquire for actual help, you'll hear them and yous can accept action.

When somebody is having a bad day, the best strategy is to openly ask if a person wants to talk about information technology

Unremarkably, there is no demand to offer a miraculous solution, but simply to mind to people. Expressing encouragement is ever good, such equally "information technology's going to get better'' or ''this is merely one bad 24-hour interval/period''.

Nonetheless, exercise not always try to deny one's feelings and make them experience bad for having a tough time. Yes, encouragement is good, just but being there to back up a person emotionally without trying to change his or her mood tin can mean a lot more than saying cheesy, apposite sentences.

Drea Burbank

Medico-Technologist and Consultant | Founder, Empulse

Doctors tin be really adept at this because we often have to help patients who are depressed, under extreme strain from affliction, or just got truly devastating news.

We know from the science of low, that even 15 minutes of cognitive-behavioral-therapy delivered by a doctor in the clinic can prevent or treat depression.

When I am working with someone who is having a bad day, I always validate the feeling first

"I tin can see yous're upset, and that'southward a totally legitimate response."

Then I reflect something they said back to them in a more than positive light, unremarkably as a hero'due south journey.

"I'grand going to say that it is possible that you're just doing something really difficult, and feeling bad about it is okay, but that doesn't mean you won't find a style through it."

Back up and being uplifting is important

In a higher place all, existence in sales for 26 years you come across many walks of life that accept days filled with rejection and adversity. Overall, sometimes someone just needs to be told information technology's going to exist ok. Or, this to shall pass.

In fact, there is e'er someone that is going through worse and what is going on now, TODAY, does non last forever. So, give them a hug, and tell them tomorrow is a new day!

It'southward non necessary to say anything at all

When people are having bad days, they want someone to heed to them and sympathize with what they are experiencing. If you tin can genuinely share in the pain that another is feeling, that very moment, the burden they are conveying becomes lighter.

Nosotros all have bad days from time to time, but when we're having a bad day at work, it tin can feel actress frustrating or emotionally charged.

1 of the all-time things a trusted colleague or manager tin do is pull that person bated and enquire them: "Is in that location anything I tin can do to today to help lighten your load hither at the office or to get you out of hither a little earlier?"

If you know there is something specific y'all can offer (i.e. can I assist you finish that slide deck?) ask them straight and explicitly.

The more specific yous can exist, the stronger your bulletin that y'all're here to assist, non just asking to exist nice.

The thing that has always helped me most when I've had a bad 24-hour interval is someone simply maxim "What can I practice to assistance?"

Often, people who are having a bad mean solar day don't actively need anything — they just desire to feel as if someone has their back. But the feeling that someone cares enough to ask what you need can aid make your day improve immediately.

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